What’s Your Parenting Vision? Module 1

This month you will be coached in how to bridge the gap between where you currently are and where you wish to be with regards to a specific parenting or family situation or overall in your family life. You will learn how to clarify your values and create a new vision for your family.

 

 

MODULE 1

  • Introduction
  • Vision as destination
  • Exercise 1

Introduction – What’s Your Parenting Vision? 

Welcome to the What’s Your Parenting Vision workshop. I want to acknowledge you for being here, wherever you physically are, and bringing more focused attention and intention to your parenting. As you begin this journey on this path of intentional parenting, I invite you to start at the beginning: to identify and create your vision for your parenting, your family, and perhaps even for this year of online parenting workshops.

  • Without a vision we simply don’t know where to go.

Have you ever taken a road trip and driven somewhere you’ve never been before? I imagine you first chose your destination, then planned your trip and then mapped out your course. It is only common sense that if you wish to go somewhere new you must first define a where and then figure out how to get there. This is true for human beings as well…for dreams and visions and goals that we intend to realize. If we wish to go somewhere new within our parenting, with our kids, with our families…if we wish for things to be different than they currently are in any area of our parenting or family or life for that matter…we first need a vision (a where) and then a roadmap (a how) to help us get there.

  • Without the destination (vision) we don’t know where to go!
  • Without the map (plan) we don’t know how to get there!

This in fact is why goal setting often does not result in goals accomplished…there is no plan with goal setting. A vision, however, is designed to guide the plan and thus to guide our actions. A vision is more likely therefore to lead us towards desired change than is the act of goal setting alone. So as we continue to plunge into 2015, I invite you to do things a bit differently this year: ditch the annual list of goals and instead create a vision that inspires and moves you both figuratively and literally!

  • I invite you to create a vision that moves you into action!

If there is something that you are working on with regards to your parenting/kids/family, if you are not where you wish to be within a specific situation or overall in your family life, you can start to close that gap by first exploring your vision.

  • Are your kids acting out?
  • Are you losing your temper more often than you’d like?
  • Is your child becoming increasingly defiant?
  • Are you overscheduled, overwhelmed, and seeking balance?
  • Has a behavioral diagnosis of one of your kids left you depleted and questioning everything you ever knew about parenting?
  • Are you going through a divorce, or going back to work, or single parenting, or did you just have a new baby, or are your kids not eating or are they throwing tantrums or playing too much Xbox or spending too much time on Facebook?

Whatever it is for you, rest assured that all parents have some sort of parenting challenges! Even the “super mom,” or that “perfect family,” is likely dealing with their own parenting struggles because…

  • parenting is hard and to date there is still no manual!

Working closely together with a professional parent coach who can assist you with your particular situation is the ideal way to close that gap and get you closer to living the life you most desire (to find a coach visit CORE Parent Coaching or The Parent Coaching Institute). In the meantime, however, I welcome you to our monthly exploration…WHAT’S YOUR PARENTING VISION?

Vision as Destination

  • Our vision guides us, for without it we do not know where to go.

As we already discussed, without having an established destination in mind we won’t know where to go or which direction to head. We might start heading South and then encounter some dilemma and go North, then give up and go South again, losing sight of where we are or how we got there all together.

  • In order to reach a certain destination we need to have a destination clearly defined.

Makes sense, right? And the good news is that this logic can also be applied to how we go about living our lives and fulfilling our wishes, hopes and dreams. With a clear vision of where we wish to go we are better prepared, both on the road and in life, and more likely to reach our destination.

Exercise 1 Vision Brainstorm

  • Challenge Yourself!

Where are you headed with regards to your parenting or family life? Are you clear on your own parenting vision? Most parents are not because they have simply never been asked to explore it. In the following sections I will guide you in how to explore your vision. For now, please jot down some top-of-your-head thoughts on what your vision might entail for you as a parent, for your kids, and overall for your family. Go!

Share with us! We would love to hear from each of you in the comments section as you journey through this process.

6 Comments

  1. Amanda Johnson

    I have goals for my children, probably similar to everyone else’s. I want them to be happy, healthy (physically and emotionally), well rounded and understanding the importance of balance in their lives. I want them to be prepared to enter healthy relationships with other people. I want them to be on a path to a fulfilling career, be it in some cut throat business or as artists, whatever they need to do that will both support them financially and give them a sense of satisfaction.
    Those sound like lovely goals, but I think they are so much easier said than done! I’m constantly second guessing my decisions (or I’m afraid to make decisions at all), because I’m unsure of the steps to accomplishing those end goals.
    Looking forward to creating a plan to take me closer to achieving those goals!

    • It is human nature to second guess ourselves, especially with our kids, and also to want to know the HOW…how do I get this, how do I not screw up my child, how to…x, y, z my child and get it right the first time?! Parenting, however, is a process and we the parents are human so we will not always get it right and not always know the “right” answers. Having a vision, however, and then a plan helps to ground us when things get tough (which they do and they will). It is a ground floor, if you will, that we can always come back to, to check ourselves, and to make sure that we are acting authentically with what we say is important to us. Stay tuned for module 2 where we will get more into this. Great work with this! This is a work in progress…

  2. Jennifer Kaplan

    Vision for self: peaceful, calm, grounded, present. Happy, alive! Quality time with each child. Balance! Time for self!
    Kids: happy, honest, playful, grounded (can self-regulate emotions/calm self), kind, genuine, generous….
    Family: balance. Calm. Present with one another. Quality time as a family. Less technology!

    • These are great! Way to go for exploring and thank you for sharing with us! Presence and balance are two big ones for many moms I talk to!

  3. Michelle Addy

    My parenting vision: To find the perfect balance between giving my children the best I can give them (emotionally and financially) and setting boundaries and clear rules on what is enough so they can still learn to appreciate everything they have and be motivated enough to create a better life for themselves.

    • Thanks Michelle! So many of us struggle with balance and with setting clear boundaries and limits (and sticking to them too), you are not alone! I look forward to hearing what values drive you as you get into module 2.